Many of us struggle with grief issues and yet have no idea how to work through the grief in a healthy fashion. This workshop is for anyone who is struggling with the grief from the loss of a loved one, missed opportunities or dreams. The loss of a loved one through death, divorce or ended relationships, the missed opportunities due to situations, external influences or incomplete information and dreams due to external influences, fear, doubt or finances. This workshop will:

When children are very young they start throwing temper tantrums as a natural way of releasing energy in their bodies associated with feelings that are being triggered. This is similar to the way that animals need to release energy associated with their own trauma. Little kids in the midst of temper tantrums get their whole body involved in the process. They may lie on their backs while kicking, screaming, and thrashing their arms and body. They might do the same process standing up. What is interesting to observe is that when they are throwing true temper tantrums, they use no words. They just scream. Additionally, they don’t intentionally hurt anyone, including themselves, nor do they intentionally hurt anything of value. There is not malicious intent to hurt or destroy anything. They might accidentally bump something or someone and break an object or cause an injury, but any harm or destruction is unintentional.

Because the noise is loud and we as adults and parents have been taught to keep our children under control and looking good, we stifle the temper tantrums. Because children want to please their parents more than anything, they quickly learn to stifle their temper tantrums and their natural way of releasing this energy. What is sad is that when children stifle the energy associated with the temper tantrum, the energy still exists and needs to come out. When the energy gets too great to hold in, children who have been taught to hide their true process of the temper tantrum develop a sideways approach of releasing the energy. This creates the fit.

A fit may have screaming involved and also has words. The words are intended to be hurtful to others and the person throwing the fit. Not only are the words destructive, the actions are destructive as well. People may intentionally hurt others, themselves, and anything in their way. Many times people talk about saying or doing something “in a fit of rage,” and this is exactly what happens. During the fit of rage, they may say or do many things that they later regret. They may wonder, if they didn’t really intend to say or do those things, why did they do it in the first place? The reason we throw fits is because we have been taught by society to hide our true feelings associated with having a temper tantrum. We resort to venting the energy through a fit.

I have yet to see an adult throw a true temper tantrum other than when given permission in a therapeutic session. Yet every day I see adults throw fits. While many people may not want to throw a fit with the destruction it causes, they do it because it is familiar. We have not been taught or given permission to create healthy ways of releasing this energy that needs to be vented. While it would be seen as inappropriate or childish to throw a temper tantrum in public (and I am not suggesting we do so), we have grown accustomed to people throwing fits in public all the time. We see it when people yell, call names, fight, or vandalize property. These are all types of fits, or forms of anger coming out sideways. When people throw fits, there is a temporary release of energy. Yet part of the energy remains and can linger after the release as resentments, frustrations, hurt, and anger to be stirred the next time this unresolved feeling gets triggered.

Parents ask what they are to do when children start to throw temper tantrums. If possible, let them go ahead right where they are. If the behavior is going to be too disruptive, than move them to a location where they can safely release the energy. Typically, once the energy is released, they feel much better and are better able to interact with others immediately with no residual effect.

How we see ourselves typically is not based upon reality or even the truth, it is based upon what we have been taught to believe in many different ways. Many of the things we have been taught are based upon differences we present to others, mistakes we have made, misbehaviors or poor judgment—yet none of these relate to who we actually are.

Most of us have no idea who we really are because we have learned to wear many emotional masks as a way of letting others see what we believe they want to see. These masks are also designed to keep us from seeing who we actually are. They hide our true selves. This can be seen by many movie stars and singers who are beautiful and talented, yet see themselves differently.

When we are willing to work through the self-deceit that we were taught at an early age, we can open the door to our emotional truth. Most of us believe the place where we need to go to connect with our emotional truth is “the dark side” of ourselves.We’re terrified to go there. The reality is that “the dark side” is a part of us that was created to cope with what life has thrown at us and is a blockade that prevents us from getting to our emotional truth.

When we are willing to connect with our emotional truth that allows us to see who we really are, what we find is something different than we have imagined. We find that our true feelings hurt no one, including ourselves, and they hurt nothing of importance. We also find that we are respectful of ourselves and those around us. When we connect with our emotional truth, we also have no negative messages about ourselves or others.

We actually find that we have a pearl of great worth within ourselves that we were born with and at some level are always seeking to get back to. When we connect with this pearl, we connect with the truth of who we are. This is a place that few people actually see in themselves because they have learned very well to hide it. Our invitation is to realize that when we put ourselves down and engage in any form of disrespect, we are not connecting with our true selves and our pearl of great worth.

We are not what we do, we just are. Our true beauty is also within ourselves, and we all have our own unique beauty when we are willing to find it. The question is whether we are willing to find the emotional truth that allows us to see and to live as the true pearl of great worth that we are made to be.

Where:        Terra Sancta, Rapid City, SD http://terrasancta.org/retreat-center/
When:        Thursday, April 12 @ 5:00 pm thru
Sunday, April 15, 2010 @ 12:00
Cost:        $3,950.00/couple includes workshop, food and lodging
Pre-registration with deposit of  $1,975.00 per couple is required due to limited space. If interested Contact Jetson Counseling @ (605) 718-5500 or Kahler Financial Group at 343-1400 to register. Deposit is non-refundable after March 30, 2012.

Rick Kahler CFP® a highly regarded and well known Financial Planner in the USA http://www.kahlerfinancial.com/ He has written a number of books; “Conscious Finance”, “Facilitating Financial Health”, “Wired for Wealth” and the Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge”. He has appeared on national Television and National Radio. He has a fee for service practice and has been using a Financial Coach, Dave Jetson, successfully with his clients. http://www.jetsoncounseling.com/

Both David and Rick bring a wealth of information about the practical realities of working with another professional in your practice with clients in order to get the through the many real and imagined barriers they may have that prevents them from moving forward with their plans.

“Many times clients come in as a result of a life transitional event which rightly or wrongly creates a certain level of anxiety that they may or may not be aware of. They have good intentions of working with a Financial Planner but don’t really know what the planner actually does and how they can help them and add value to their lives.”

Preconceived beliefs, attitudes, fears and anxieties can impede communications and outcomes. Getting through the emotional aspects of a client’s circumstance so that they can make a confident financial decision requires skill, education and training. Invariably clients need to change their behavior and attitude in order to move forward.

Financial coaching was developed to help create positive change in the clients follow through to help achieve their financial objective’s.

This one-day workshop will explore what financial coaching is and create a number of scenarios to help participants see, experience and feel the powerful impact that financial coaching has to offer and explore ways to implement it in to your practice.

Financial coaching is where the CFP and counseling coach work in conjunction with each other in the same room with the client. The CFP will explore the numbers and data while the coach monitors body language to see where emotional obstacles impact the financial decisions. When an obstacle is found the coach will shift the situation to help the client move forward. The coach is also available to explore emotional issues that halt forward movement and explore ways to remove the emotional obstacles.

An example of financial coaching is with John and Susan who were at odds with each other for seven years about how to structure their retirement plan and how to divide the inheritance when they pass away. In one two hour financial coaching session, forward movement allowed them to create a positive solution was found that they could walk away with and even talk to each other about, which was significant since in the past they could not talk about this issue without fighting.

This workshop will help explore the steps to consider in finding a coach to partner with, techniques, tools and processes to interact seamlessly in a session with the client and coach. This workshop will also explore the payoffs and returns that are gained in this process.

If interested in attending contact Emma Knowles at:

Post: GPO Box 97 Canberra ACT 2601
Fax: +61 2 6257 0171          Email: emmak@consciousmoney.com.au

Where:        The Merritt Center, Payson, AZ  http://www.merrittcenter.org
When:        Friday, February 17 @ 6:00 pm thru
Monday, February 20, 2012 @ 11:00
Cost:        $1,750 per person, includes food and lodging
Pre-registration with deposit of  $875.00 per person is required due to limited space. If interested Contact Jetson Counseling @ (605) 718-5500 or www.jetsoncounseling.com  to register. Deposit is non-refundable after January 5, 2012.

Where:    The Merritt Center, Payson, AZ  http://www.merrittcenter.org
When:        Friday, February 17 @ 6:00 pm thru Monday, February 20, 2012 @ 11:00
Cost:        $1,750 per person, includes food and lodging
Pre-registration with deposit of  $875.00 per person is required due to limited space. If interested Contact Jetson Counseling @ (605) 718-5500 or www.jetsoncounseling.com  to register. Deposit is non-refundable after February 3, 2012.

This workshop will explore the origins of the negative messages and how these messages do not connect with truth. We will explore the patterns associated with negative self-talk, and participants will have opportunities to work through these patterns. In addition, we will spend time exploring the payoffs associated with these negative messages and how these payoffs, even though many are negative, keep us listening to the messages.

If you are tired of listening to these negative messages and are ready to find freedom from them, this workshop can help. The most common response participants share after completing this workshop is how insightful, helpful, and life-changing the experience was for them.

The Freedom from Negative Self-Talk workshop will be held for the first time at Terra Sancta (http://terrasancta.org/retreat-center/) retreat center in Rapid City, South Dakota. This retreat center is opening in January. Its many amenities and beautiful setting make it an appealing location for this type of workshop.

Every day we struggle with negative self-talk and a negative self-image.  This workshop will:
Explore the origins of the negative messages you tell yourself
Explore the truth around the negative self-talk and how negative messages do not represent the truth
Explore the truth that sets you free from the negative self-talk
Explore how you were taught to believe the negative messages we tell ourself
Explore what the negative self-talk has taken
Explore how the negative self-talk contributes and reinforces the negative self-image
Create emotional freedom from the negative self-talk
Recognize choices you have around the negative self-talk
Explore ways to create more self-trust in your life
Explore the patterns associated with negative self-talk
Explore your beliefs and payoffs around the distorted self

 
Where:        Terra Sancta, Rapid City http://terrasancta.org/retreat-center/
When:        Thursday, January 26 @ 5:00 pm thru Sunday, January 29, 2010 @ 11:00
Cost:        $1,750 per person, includes food and lodging
Pre-registration with deposit of  $875.00 per person is required due to limited space. If interested Contact Jetson Counseling @ (605) 718-5500 or www.jetsoncounseling.com  to register. Deposit is non-refundable after January 5, 2012.

When we seek to control someone or a situation, we are attempting to create some level of safety for ourselves. Control is used as a way to manage our fear because the greater the fear, the greater the control. When we have no fear, we also have no need for control because we have a level of trust that allows us to not control that situation.

At a very young age we are taught to control ourselves and our feelings. We are taught to hold our feelings in until the energy disappears from sight. We are also taught to control our urges—such as a need to be loud, run, and play—with statements like “children are to be seen and not heard.”

These forms of control are created from fear of displeasing our parents or authority figures as a child and become engrained in us so that we continue to control that aspect of our lives in adulthood. Control can be helpful in protecting us in certain situations; it can also be limiting so that we fear experiencing the fullness of life.

An example of positive control is when we set healthy boundaries that are respectful of ourselves and others. The boundary creates a level of safety and accountability and is a form of control. Control can also create negative consequences by limiting ourselves and others in such a way that we are not able to fully experience the many positive things life has to offer.

Our need for control is based upon what we have experienced and have been taught. As a child we may have had an experience that scared us and continues to present fear and a need to control and limit our activities. Our parents and/or authority figures may control certain situations due to fear associated with their history, and they may have passed that fear on to us.

The question becomes what is positive and healthy control and what type of control is unhealthy. Healthy control is control that is designed to protect a person or persons in ways that are respectful and do not create limits greater than the situation demands.

Unhealthy control is based upon exaggerated fear, meaning the fear is greater than the situation demands due to emotional history, phobias, and misinformation. Unhealthy control is disrespectful to ourselves and others. While we may not recognize the disrespect because we have grown accustomed to it, the disrespect still exits. The disrespect could be associated with pushing others away with our control when deep down inside we actually desire closeness.

When we are told we are controlling, which everyone is to some degree, it creates an opportunity to explore. In what ways we are controlling? Is the control healthy? If it is not, we can learn healthy, different ways to explore and work through the fear that creates the need for control.

The level of trust we have in our relationships is demonstrated in the level of sharing we are able to do with others. When we communicate with strangers, we limit our communication since we have no history of how safe it will be to share. As relationships grow and develop, we start to open up and share more. The more open we are with our emotional truth, the more we are able to trust that relationship.

Some people indicate that they trust everyone and are willing to share everything about themselves with others, yet what they actually share is very limited. While they may be sharing to the best of their ability, there is another level of sharing that requires a deeper level of trust. Most of us have not experienced this level of trust or sharing because we have not been taught that it is acceptable to share at this level. In fact, many times we have been taught to shut down this level. This level of sharing requires the ability to connect with and feel our true feelings.

True or straight feelings do not hurt ourselves or anyone else when they are felt, yet they tend to be hidden by our sideways feelings. Since we have been taught to hide our true feelings, it becomes difficult to feel safe with and express this level of feelings.

To assist a person in getting to this level of trust and sharing requires patience, support, encouragement, guidance, and examples. People are very fearful of trusting enough to share at this level.
Trust is earned and is sensitive to the environment as well as the behaviors of others. Many people have indicated that they trust no one. When they share their stories, it becomes clear why they have so little trust in others.

Trust is a process that grows and is earned. The greater the trust, the deeper the relationship is and the safer each person feels with the other. This type of trust grows as the relationship creates deeper levels of safety. As the safety increases, the deeper truth has greater opportunities to come forward.

Any time we have a goal of creating trust, it’s important to limit judgment, criticism, control, and advice. These behaviors are counterproductive to trust since they foster some level of fear. When we attempt to control, we exude our own fear. The other person is able to recognize this fear. Creating fear and anxiety limits the opportunity for trust to grow. The more we feed the pattern of fear, the less trust is able to grow. The more we are able to limit our judgment, criticism, control, and advice, the more opportunity we create for trust to grow..